By Monick Halm
“If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it.” ~Anthony J. D’Angelo, The College Blue Book
Les Brown, the inspirational speaker, tells this great story:
One afternoon a man walks past a house and sees a cute old couple rocking in their rocking chairs reading the paper. Lying in between them is a dog moaning as if its in pain. The man silently wonders what the dog is moaning about as he walks past.
The next afternoon the man walks past the same house. Again the couple is out there rocking in their chairs, sipping iced tea, and reading. Again the dog is lying in between them and moaning in pain. The man is a bit worried about the dog, but he again passes and says nothing.
The third day the man makes a point of walking in front of the old couple’s house to check on the dog. He’s distressed to find the same scene – the old couple contentedly reading while the dog moans in pain. The young man feels compelled to say something.
“Excuse me” he calls out to the couple. “What’s wrong with your dog?”
“Oh him?” the old woman said pointing to the dog. “He’s just moaning because he is lying on a nail.”
The young man is confused. “If he’s lying on a nail and its so uncomfortable, why doesn’t he just get up and move?”
The little old lady smiled at him and said “Well honey, it hurts just enough for him to moan about it, but not enough for him to move yet.”
***
Do you recognize yourself in that couple’s old dog? I know there have been times in my life when I’ve done my share of moaning when I should have been moving.
As a young lawyer practicing at a big law firm I was pretty miserable – crazy hours, abusive partners (one of them actually threw things at you!), and a feeling of being completely overwhelmed As I experienced my daily stress stomachaches I spent plenty of time with my fellow associates moaning about how bad our lot in life was. I often wished for some miracle to come and take me out of that situation, but took no actions myself to shift. It wasn’t until those stress stomachaches developed into a ruptured appendix and I ended up almost dying that I finally decided to move. It needn’t have been that way. I could have moved from the bed of nails long before it sent me to the hospital. I would have avoided so much pain.
Many people, including young lawyers, spend a lot of energy moaning about problems that they have the power to fix. Often the problems aren’t even that difficult to fix, but we get in the habit of moaning and forget that we could just move. We think that moaning/whining/complaining is going to make a situation better — maybe if we moan long and loud enough someone will come and move the nail for us or carry us away. It almost never happens that way. Moaning just usually makes the nail seem that much more painful.
So when you read this story, ask yourself: are you lying on a nail and just moaning about it? Are you ready to move? If so, take a stand. Share in the comments how you intend to move.
Monick is the founder of the Life Alchemy School. In her “What Do I Want to Be When I Grow Up?” Coaching Program, Monick assists attorneys and other professionals to successfully transition into new careers that they love and are passionate about. Visit the Life Alchemy School Facebook Page to receive a free copy of her e-book “5 Steps to Successful Career Transition.”
Photo courtesy of Tejvan Pettinger.
Essential Elements of a Profitable & Kickass Virtual Law Office Website
Great reminder! I’m an Army wife and an attorney, and I spent the first few months after our first big move to a new place “moaning” about not being able to find work (we knew we were only going to be in that location for a year, and no one wanted to hire a lawyer for a year). Then I started my freelance practice, and I can’t even begin to describe the sense of freedom and empowerment I’ve enjoyed ever since. I see a lot of military spouses just drowning in their own “moans” about being unable to “find” a job, feeling helpless in the face of the constant geographic insecurity and seemingly insurmountable obstacle of having to watch your spouse go off on deployment for months/years at a time. I was lucky in a lot of ways, since I went to law school before getting married, but I’m also quite familiar with the urge to sit around moping the first time I couldn’t find a job. You just have to get over that urge and get off that nail! If you can’t “find” a job, make one up!
For what it’s worth, I understand that it’s not always that easy, but I definitely appreciated this article’s reminder that even if it’s not “that” easy, trying to DO something is guaranteed to be a lot more effective than moaning about the situation. Feeling like a victim in your own life is a miserable way to live, but that feeling is a choice, and you’re the only one who can change it.
Thanks for a nice reminder!
Thank you for sharing your perspective, Celeste! I think that is a great example of how you can find a way to create a job for yourself that fits your current or ideal lifestyle. I, too, have a location independent practice, not because I have to move but because I like/want to move around.
I think the important message for those in despair is, you can make a way for yourself no matter what your circumstances are. And you don’t need to wait for a handout or permission. Decide you want to do something and do it!
Hey Celeste,
Thanks for the great comment! “Trying to DO something is guaranteed to be a lot more effective than moaning about the situation.” Absolutely true!
Best,
Monick
Like Celeste, I too am an Army wife with a husband who does not seem to want to leave the Army any time soon! He’s currently in the National Guard, but wants to go active in the next few years, therefore, I’m faced with potential moves around the country. I was very concerned about this considering I was always told that lawyers can’t move around easily, but then I discovered from reading articles like this one, and others Rachel has written, that I CAN create a job for myself that suits my needs and desires for my career. I don’t have to be miserable, or make my family miserable, by trying to fit into someone else’s mold.
Absolutely, Patricia! Unfortunately, the legal profession is slow to evolve and tends to be several years behind the times. But that doesn’t mean that we have to put our careers on hold and wait for it to catch up. There are creative ways to set up a law practice and/or law-related business that meets professional standards as well as our own career and personal needs. Where there’s a will, there’s a way!
+1 on Rachel’s comment.
Patricia, if you ever want to chat about life as an itinerant attorney, please don’t hesitate to get in touch! I’m starting to develop a decent network of military spouse legal professionals, so I can tell you: you won’t be alone!
Thank you for the encouragement! Celeste, I greatly appreciate the offer to chat. I will certainly be in touch in the near future! It’s good to know I’m not alone out there!